I am Canadian!

I don't remember moving to Canada 15+ years ago affecting me as much as moving to K-town has. I mean, I remember not wanting to come to Canada (really, what 10 year old kid would want to leave everything she knows and all her friends to move to another country where they speak a different language????) and ESL classes being torture. I do remember the culture shock. I vaguely remember being made fun of as the new ESL kid, but it didn't bother me so much because I couldn't understand what they were calling me anyway. By the time my English started to stick, my assimilation into Canadian culture was well under way. I became what you call a white-washed kid or a banana. Partly due to the extreme measures my parents ( really, it was all DAD)took to make sure that I was becoming "Canadian". They threw out Japanese books, magazines, letters my classmates gave me...and I was forbidden from watching Japanese TV or movies. They also made it crystal clear to me that I was to master English...forget about remembering Japanese or being Japanese(I'm so glad their plan never worked out), I was a Canadian (yes, I swore my allegiance to the Queen years ago). By the time I started high school, I was one of the whitest(on the inside and outside...teachers called me 'sickly' pale) asian kids in our school. I never identified with the Japanese-Canadian kids around me, I was both Japanese and Canadian but those were somehow seperate identities within me. Growing up in D.mond, which was going through major demographic changes in a very short period at the time, I experienced and witnessed my share of racism. Over just a few years, the majority in D.mond became Asians. Over half the city's population became Chinese and D.mond's face changed dramatically. My high school was very representative of the town's variety of ethnicities. Alot of our school population was very segragated ethinically but we got along for the most part. There were certain groups that never interacted with each other. I had white friends who would yell out "You're in Canada!! Learn English!" in a hallway where everyone spoke only Cantonese.(I would tell them that I would be speaking Japanese too if more students spoke it and they would tell me that "But you learned English so you're different"). I had Chinese friends who would yell out the term meaning 'white devil' in a hallway where all the White grunge metal kids hung out. I had some older girls tell me to "Go back to the island, you chink!!" during gym class (I kicked their ass in lacross). Our Japanese-Canadian neighbours would tell us that at least we lived next to Chinese and not Whiteys. Working at the local mall, I got asked on a daily basis if I spoke Chinese. I had Chinese guys who would refer to me as 'Japanese girl' and never remember my name. Let me repeat, that I was one of the whitest kids at school. Everyone thought I was born in Canada, but they also knew that I was Japanese. I had White friends, I had CBC friends, I had Honger friends, I had East Indian friends, I had Japanese-Canadian friends. I got along with them individually but they didn't alway get along with each other. Growing up in this environment never made me doubt my identities however, it allowed me to be both. Besides, there were tons of other kids like me who were both Canadian and something else. There was tension alot of times, but we all knew we were all Canadian. Being called names, especially the wrong names, having things yelled at me, seeing my own friends doing it to the 'FOB's pissed me off but I also laughed about it too. Working as a make-up artist, I got alot of Asian clients who requested me because of my reputation of my ability to truly compliment asian eyes, I had alot of White clients who wanted me to customize their lip color and foundation, and many East Indian clients who knew of my use of bright colors. I never had people doubt or assume that I wasn't Canadian, it was a given. I think I figured out why I've been so frustrated living in K-town. I have international students telling me that I'm Canadian and everyone else telling me I'm Asian. I realize that race, nationality, ethinicity are just constructions of society and should have no effect on who I am as a person but it does, being so visible, I can't hide from it. My identity has been something fluid to me, but for the first time in over 15 years, I have people telling me I'm not Canadian! Seriously, when people ask what's my nationality, I say Canadian...they look so confused...then they ask if I was born in Canada,(I get very tempted to say yes because then I can avoid what comes next)I say no and I make sense again...they love sushi...great...my English is so 'good'...thanks...and they loved "The Last Samurai" or "Memoirs of a Geisha"...I never knew Tom Cruise was Japanese...they name an anime series that they LOVE...never heard of it, sorry I don't watch a lot of anime...have you been to the buddist temple here?...I'm not buddist...oh!Happy Chinese New Year(ok,so I only got this one once)...I celebrate New Year in January...you people are so skinny!...so's that blonde girl sitting in front of you...your hair is so straight...I use a hair straightener...(and my FAVORITE)is it true what they say about Asian guy's #%&@* being small?...I wouldn't know, and please don't talk to me again. I use a Canadian passport, I travel with the Canadian flag all over my luggage and I follow hockey and make fun of Americans, can I be any more CANADIAN?