Perception

Ok, so I made a comment in class today. I kinda got shy about voicing my views in class since last semester when everything I said became interpreted as the "Asian girl"'s view. I also felt a kind of a pressure in some of my classes from both other students and teachers about what came out of my mouth. Whatever came out my mouth had to be interesting and 'authentic' because I was the token "international" student and therefore, representative of "my people". For example, someone mentioned Chinese footbinding in a Women's Studies class and the teacher looked at me and expected me to make a comment. Alright, so I knew quite a bit about the subject since I studied about it in detail in my fashion marketing days but I'm pretty sure she wasn't asking for my textile expertise. In this same class, the girl who sat in front of me (and she was a perfectly nice, polite girl) would turn around everytime an asian country was mentioned in discussion. (Maybe she was looking at the East Indian girl who sat behind me?)What did she expect me to do? Teach her about every culture that gets summed up as "Asian"? In my linguistic class, a bunch of kids thought it was "so cool" that I was fluent in Japanese and yet they were convinced that I was an international student(Shouldn't it be cooler that I speak English?)Anyways, 4 months of things like this made me very careful about what I said in class. Let's just say that it's been a long while since I've said anything during a class. Getting back to the point, so I made a comment in class today. Although I hadn't intended my comment to be in an "asian" context, it was very clear that some members of the class had interpreted as so(they told me). We were discussing a book written by a South Asian author, set in India. I had noticed alot of similarities between this particular book and other South Asian and Asian books I had read recently for another class. The topic of discussion was magic realism (Really, who decides what's "magic" and what's "real"? I totally believe in ghosts!!) alot of the same "magic" was mentioned so I got the impression that since that was a particular style of storytelling in the other books that I'd read, maybe this book was written in the style or type of a particular narrative and perhaps the use of the magical was not necessary a statement in itself. My opinion wasn't necessary based on any "asian" insight nor did I mean to say that I had read the story from a different cultural view. But thinking back on the words and phrasing that I used, I can see how that could be heard. BUT, if I didn't look asian, if I was a white person saying the exact same comment, would the same words have been interpreted the same way? On the other hand, as much as I bitch about being stereotyped, how much of my "orientalism", do I construct myself? Aren't I portraying the "Asian girl" to a point? Am I being paranoid? Maybe it doesn't matter that my opinion gets painted as Asian; I am after all, Asian. I come from a town where LOTS of people are hybrids of some kind, so it's feels incredibly wierd and foreign to me that I may not be considered one of "us" when Canadians are mentioned. I have to watch what come out of my mouth because I can't be the representative of "Asians" but to K-town folks, I might be the only non-white person they've ever spoken with. People who know me know I have alot of opinions and I've never had to watch my mouth like this before and I hate feeling like I'm not participating but I don't want to misrepresent another person's culture. I mean, I'm happy to talk about my own experiences from my life if anyone's willing to listen but my story is just that, I can't speak for "my people" whoever they are. I give up, maybe I shouldn't open my mouth at all. Listen, kids, just go watch Russel Peters. He'll explain asians, and you'll have a laugh while having an educational experience.